God’s Design For Marriage

People often want to know what the Bible says about dating, but there are no specific scriptures on the topic. The act of dating is not in the Bible.

There are examples of God choosing wives for men and men choosing their own wives. There are examples of betrothal, which is the first stage of marriage, but we do not see examples of dating. In most cases, practicing dating usually leads to some form of sin. I ask you to please pray and ask God to help you understand His plans for marriage before you continue reading, because what we see in scripture looks nothing like the culture most of us live in.

I encourage you, whether you are already married or desire to be married one day, to ask God to help you change any misunderstandings or preconceived notions you may have about marriage.

Jesus lays out our Heavenly Father’s desire for marriage from the very beginning.

And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardnessof heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:4-9 NASB® 1995

“Hardness of heart”: Strong’s: The Greek word for the phrase “Hardness of heart” is sklērokardia (4641): 1. hard-heartedness 2. (specially), destitution of (spiritual) perception
- HELPS Word-studies: sklērokardía 4641 (from 4642 /sklērós, "hard because dry" and 2588 /kardía, "heart") – properly, hardness of heart because of a lack of moisture (lubricant); an obstinate, hard heart which lacks the oil of the Holy Spirit and hence implies rebellion – i.e someone refusing to be receptive (obedient) to God's inworking of faith.

Jesus makes some very strong statements about marriage. He is very clear that divorce was never intended. Jesus states that God joined man and woman together, and no one is to separate them. He goes on to say that whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery. This is not taught to most Christians today.

In Genesis, we see God creating women to be the man's helper.

The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:20-24 NASB® 1995

“Helper”: Strong’s: The Hebrew word for “Helper” is ʿēzer (5828): help, helper, succour
- “Succour”: 1.help or assistance, esp in time of difficulty 2.a person or thing that provides help - Collins English Dictionary

When two people are joined together, and one is the helper, there can be many problems because two individuals with different ways of thinking do not usually think alike at the beginning of their relationship. What one spouse may think is helping may not be considered helpful by the other spouse. It is very important to ask and seek with all your heart God’s mind on how to be the helper you are called to be. We will see the husband's role in further scripture.

“Joined”: Strong’s: The Hebrew word for “Joined” is dābaq (1692): to cling, cleave, adhere, stick, join
- Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance: abide fast, cleave fast together, follow close hard after, be joined together

This is the same Hebrew word used in Ruth 1:14, which states Ruth clung to her/Naomi. If you are not familiar with this story, I encourage you to read it to get a better understanding of what joining means.

And they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.
Ruth 1:14 NASB® 1995

Finding a Spouse

In the beginning, we see that God created Eve for Adam. He handcrafted the perfect helper for Adam. In Genesis 24, Abraham trusted God that He would supply a wife for Isaac. God already knew who she was and pointed her out to the servant in Genesis 24.

Now Abraham was old, advanced in age; and the LORD had blessed Abraham in every way. Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he owned, “Please place your hand under my thigh, and I will make you swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, but you will go to my country and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac.” The servant said to him, “Suppose the woman is not willing to follow me to this land; should I take your son back to the land from where you came?” Then Abraham said to him, “Beware that you do not take my son back there! The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my birth, and who spoke to me and who swore to me, saying, ‘To your descendants I will give this land,’ He will send His angel before you, and you will take a wife for my son from there. But if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be free from this my oath; only do not take my son back there.” So the servant placed his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and swore to him concerning this matter.

Then the servant took ten camels from the camels of his master, and set out with a variety of good things of his master’s in his hand; and he arose and went to Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor. He made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water at evening time, the time when women go out to draw water. He said, “O LORD, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today, and show lovingkindness to my master Abraham. Behold, I am standing by the spring, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water; now may it be that the girl to whom I say, ‘Please let down your jar so that I may drink,’ and who answers, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels also’⁠—may she be the one whom You have appointed for Your servant Isaac; and by this I will know that You have shown lovingkindness to my master.”

Before he had finished speaking, behold, Rebekah who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor, came out with her jar on her shoulder. The girl was very beautiful, a virgin, and no man had had relations with her; and she went down to the spring and filled her jar and came up. Then the servant ran to meet her, and said, “Please let me drink a little water from your jar.” She said, “Drink, my lord”; and she quickly lowered her jar to her hand, and gave him a drink. Now when she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will draw also for your camels until they have finished drinking.” So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, and ran back to the well to draw, and she drew for all his camels. Meanwhile, the man was gazing at her in silence, to know whether the LORD had made his journey successful or not.

When the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold ring weighing a half-shekel and two bracelets for her wrists weighing ten shekels in gold, and said, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room for us to lodge in your father’s house?” She said to him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor.” Again she said to him, “We have plenty of both straw and feed, and room to lodge in.” Then the man bowed low and worshiped the LORD. He said, “Blessed be the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not forsaken His lovingkindness and His truth toward my master; as for me, the LORD has guided me in the way to the house of my master’s brothers.”
Genesis 24:1-27 NASB® 1995

This story is an example of trusting God to provide the right spouse. I encourage you to read the full account of Isaac marrying Rebekah in Genesis 24, because although God did give Rebekah to Isaac, their lives were not free from hardship. They had to trust God for children, and later, their children faced hardships of their own. This shows that whether God chooses your spouse or you are already married, it does not mean life will be without difficulties.

Getting married is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life.

It is important to ask God His mind on who to marry, because no matter what, you will face hardships in your marriage. Feelings and emotions come and go. If you base marriage on feelings, it can be very hard to hold fast in hard times. When you know beforehand that this is the person God has given to you, it will help you hold tight to your marriage. If you have already gotten married and are experiencing hardship, you will have to make a choice to hold on to the Word of God, no matter your marriage situation.

God’s Expectation Before and After Marriage

Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.
But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.
1 Corinthians 7:1-17 NASB® 1995

Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.
1 Corinthians 7:25-28 NASB® 1995

In 1 Corinthians 7, we see a man and a woman who are “Bound” together but not yet married. This reflects the first stage of marriage, known as betrothal.

“Bound”: Strong’s: The Greek word for “Bound” is deō (1210): to tie, bind, fasten
- Word Origin: [a primary verb]
  1. to bind
  2. (regarding marriage) to be betrothed, to pledge to give oneself in marriage {in various applications, literally or figuratively}

In 2 Corinthians 11:2, Paul draws a parallel between Christ and the Church and a man betrothed to a woman. This comparison provides deeper insight into God’s expectations for marriage.

For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin.
2 Corinthians 11:2 NASB® 1995

“Betrothed”: Strong’s: The Greek word for “Betrothed” in 2 Corinthians 11 is harmozō (718): to join, to fit together, to betroth, to join to oneself, marry, take to wife

In the book of Matthew, the word “Betrothed” is a different Greek word.

“Betrothed”: Strong’s: The Greek word for “Betrothed” is mnēsteuō (3423): to woo and win, espouse.
- HELPS Word-studies: mnēsteúō (3423) – originally, "to woo and win; espouse, then to promise in marriage, betroth" (Abbott-Smith); to espouse; betroth.
- “A Manual Greek-English Lexicon to the New Testament”: “Betrothed”: to promise in marriage, betroth; pass., of the woman, to be “Betrothed” - Abbott-Smith
- “Betrothed”: The first stage of marriage in Jewish culture, usually lasting for a year before the wedding night, is more legal than an engagement - chabad.org

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.
Matthew 1:18-25 ESV

In this case, Joseph took her to be his wife, but he didn’t have sexual relations with her until Jesus was born. We see from the Word of God that having sexual relations is not marriage. This is where some people get confused. Some Christians think that because they have sexual relations, they are married to the person, which is not the case. That is actually considered sexual immorality.

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Hebrews 13:4 NASB® 1995

As we saw in the verses above, marriage is meant to be a covenant commitment between two people before God. The book of Malachi speaks about how God views marriage and the seriousness of breaking that covenant.

“This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
Malachi 2:13-16 NASB® 1995

We see that God created marriage to have godly offspring. He hates divorce and him who cover their garments with wrong. We also need to understand what God defines as adultery and what happens if you get divorced for any reason but adultery.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell. “It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 5:27-32 NASB 1995

Jesus is speaking to men here, but it does not mean this does not apply to women. Sin doesn’t just apply to one gender.

Sexual Sin

The next section of scripture, Deuteronomy 22, helps us understand how sinful it is to have sexual relations outside of God’s design for marriage.

“If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then turns against her, and charges her with shameful deeds and publicly defames her, and says, ‘I took this woman, but when I came near her, I did not find her a virgin,’ then the girl’s father and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of the girl’s virginity to the elders of the city at the gate. The girl’s father shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man for a wife, but he turned against her; and behold, he has charged her with shameful deeds, saying, “I did not find your daughter a virgin.” But this is the evidence of my daughter’s virginity.’ And they shall spread the garment before the elders of the city. So the elders of that city shall take the man and chastise him, and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give it to the girl’s father, because he publicly defamed a virgin of Israel. And she shall remain his wife; he cannot divorce her all his days.
“But if this charge is true, that the girl was not found a virgin, then they shall bring out the girl to the doorway of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death because she has committed an act of folly in Israel by playing the harlot in her father’s house; thus you shall purge the evil from among you.
“If a man is found lying with a married woman, then both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel.
“If there is a girl who is a virgin engaged to a man, and another man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city and you shall stone them to death; the girl, because she did not cry out in the city, and the man, because he has violated his neighbor’s wife. Thus you shall purge the evil from among you.
“But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. But you shall do nothing to the girl; there is no sin in the girl worthy of death, for just as a man rises against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case. When he found her in the field, the engaged girl cried out, but there was no one to save her.
“If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days.
“A man shall not take his father’s wife so that he will not uncover his father’s skirt.
Deuteronomy 22:13-30 NASB® 1995

God sees sexual immorality as being evil, and it must be purged from our lives. This section of scripture in Deuteronomy 22 lays out different sexual immoral sins that should not be in a child of God’s life. It is evil to have sexual relations outside of the covenant of marriage. If you are or have had sexual relations outside of marriage, you need to acknowledge the sin and repent. If you are in a situation that is sinful where you are living with a person outside of marriage, you need to seek God's help to correct the issue.

“If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, and lies with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the dowry for virgins.
Exodus 22:16-17 NASB® 1995

In Exodus 22, we see the expectation God has for men seducing women. The expectation is that he will take her to be his wife. I know some of this may seem far from the cultural expectations that we live in, but we must allow it to paint a picture of God’s expectations for how we are to live. All of these scriptures show God’s intent for purity and marriage.

Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore, let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.
Romans 13:11-14 NASB® 1995

Paul states here in Romans 13 that sexual promiscuity is a deed of darkness.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 NASB® 1995

“Sexual immorality: Strong’s: The Greek word for ”Sexual immorality” is porneia (4202): immorality, fornication, fornications
- Word Origin: [from G4203 (πορνεύω - committed immorality)]
       1. prostitution (including adultery, incest, and porn)
       2. (by extension) unwedded stimulation or fulfillment of sexual desire
       3. (figuratively) idolatry
- HELPS Word-studies: porneía (4202) - the root of the English terms "pornography, pornographic"; cf. 4205/pórnos), which is derived from pernaō, "to sell off") – properly, a selling off (surrendering) of sexual purity; promiscuity of any (every) type.

Children of God must take His word seriously. If you are in sin or have practiced any of these things that God calls sin, then you need to repent and ask God for help to stop practicing sin. In our culture today, dating is the normal way to find a spouse, but oftentimes it leads to sexual immorality, ungodly emotional attachments, or some other kind of sin. I encourage you to seek God for a spouse and trust Him to bring you the right one. If you already have one, we have learned from scripture to stay married and be obedient to the Word of God.

Marriage

Very few of us go into marriage actually knowing what our roles are and how we are to function once married. Below are verses that paint a picture of the roles in marriage.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
Ephesians 5:22-31 NASB® 1995

Oftentimes, the part about wives being subject to their husbands is greatly misunderstood.

“Subject”: Strong’s: The Greek word for “Subject” is hupotassó (5293): To subject, to subordinate, to submit, to be under obedience
- NAS Exhaustive Concordance: to place or rank under, to subject, mid. to obey
- HELPS Word-studies: 5293‍ ‍hypotássō (from 5259 /hypó, "under" and 5021 /tássō, "arrange") – properly, "under God's arrangement," i.e., submitting to the Lord (His plan).

It is never God’s plan for a wife to sin to obey her husband. We have two stories in the Bible that we can read to help us understand this. One was wise and saved her household (1 Samuel 25:2-38), and one was foolish and chose to sin with her husband and died (Acts 5:1-16).

Men who are obedient disciples of Jesus should never ask their wives to sin against God. When a man and a woman both have the desire to be obedient disciples, God will give them His heart and mind on everything they need to know. They will learn to trust each other more deeply because their hearts are leading them in the same direction. When a man produces the Fruit of the Spirit and is directed by God, a wife who is doing the same will be able to trust him. The problem is when one or both choose disobedience to the Word of God.

Paul gives men directions on how they are to live their lives to help their wives grow. They are to love them according to the Word of God. They do this by laying down their lives for them. That does not mean they promote sin. It means they take on the role of a servant in their family to set the example in their home. Then all their family should follow in subjection to his example.

Peter gives more insight into how men and women should love in a marriage.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external⁠—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. For, “The one who desires life, to love and see good days, Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. “He must turn away from evil and do good; He must seek peace and pursue it. “For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, And His ears attend to their prayer, But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.
1 Peter 3:1-17 NASB® 1995

Peter states that wives should be submissive to husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word. That shows the influence a wife can have on her husband. Peter proceeds to tell wives not to be frightened by any fear. Women are to follow, trusting in God no matter what. God will help, and He will take care of them. Even if their husbands are not being led by God. Again, this does not mean a woman is to sin in obedience to her husband.

Peter addresses men differently; he tells the men to live with their wives in an understanding way. He states that a husband should show his wife honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. Then he tells men to do this so their prayers are not hindered. This is a strong message and gives us insight into what can change the heart of men and what can change the heart of women.

Here is one more section of scripture to help understand how to be obedient disciples of Jesus.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.
Colossians 3:18-25 NASB® 1995

“Embittered”: Strong’s: The Greek word for “Embittered” is pikrainō (4087): to make bitter, to embitter, to exasperate.

Whether you are a man or a woman, God has specific directions for you, but it does not mean that all of the Word of God does not pertain to you. All of the Word of God pertains to each one of us, men and women. Men must submit to God in the same way women must submit to God by submitting to their husbands. Women should not practice sin in any way that would make their husbands bitter at them, just the same as men. So while the Word of God gives specific directions to men and women, we need to ponder and take all of the Word of God to heart. Wives, if you do not feel like you have a marriage, then take on the same kind of thinking as Christ. Similar to the thinking of a slave, subjecting your life to the direction your husband leads, as long as he is not forcing you to sin. Husbands and wives are to stay in prayer, ask God for help, and allow God to do a perfect work in them.

Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me.” For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 15:1-6 NASB® 1995

References:

Strong’s Greek/Hebrew: Biblehub.com
Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance: Biblehub.com
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged, 12th Edition 2014 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000,2003, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2014
- "succour." Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged, 12th Edition 2014. 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2014. HarperCollins Publishers 27 Dec. 2025 https://www.thefreedictionary.com/succour
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www.chabad.org “Kiddushin: Betrothal” Rabbi Naftali Silberberg Chabad.org, Chabad.org
- https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/477321/jewish/Kiddushin-Betrothal.htm
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Edited 1/2026
Posted 2/2026